Empire of Our Own: Can't Pretend
by sosinsastark
Summary: SEASON THREE: We had decided to go with Jaha to the city of light the day after Murphy and I had finally admitted to each other that we had wanted to be a lot more than friends. I had let Murphy get onto a boat with Jaha, Craig, and Richards. They never came back, even though they promised. Murphy/OC TEMP HAITUS
1. Chapter 1

**This chapter is pathetically small. But I can't do much until Season three had ended, so all you're going to get in the mean time is depressing little chapters like this. Maybe even some chapters in Murphy's point of view. Either way, all very sad stuff.**

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My feet pounded through the sand, and I could feel my boots starting to get filled with it. It slowed me down, but I couldn't stop. Not when following this damn drone was the only way I could find Murphy. In the distance I saw a dock, and it appeared the drone was leading us there.

"Both you and this damn drone need to slow down!" June yelled from behind me, her exhaustion clearly evident by her deep gasps of breath.

I was right, it lead us to a boat. A much bigger boat than the one Jaha had taken a few days ago. Then the drone started out, towards the open water. Towards the north.

"How the fuck do we drive this?" I yelled to myself as I hopped onto the boat, throwing my head back as I looked every direction for some sort of steering wheel. The boat was a lot bigger than it looked on the outside.

"I found the steering wheel!" June yelled from somewhere up front, and I watched as Breton quickly went to help her.

"We need to go north, now." I screamed as I jumped onto the front of the boat, looking out ahead.

It felt like days had gone by, with me sitting on the boat's front as we sped north. It hadn't actually been that long, though. I had just been so nervous, worried about what I would find.

I hadn't expected to find Jaha at a dock, standing regal as if he was waiting for us. My heart leapt when I saw a tall figure next to him, but then dropped when I realized that figure wasn't the one I was looking for. I had no clue who the person next to him was, actually.

I didn't even wait until the boat had came to a halt, I jumped off the front and onto the pier, running towards Jaha. I halted a few feet away, watching Jaha's friend warily. He was tall, He was a couple years older than me, with tan skin and grounder tattoos covering his neck and arms. He raised a brow at me, amusement forming on his face.

"Where is Murphy?" I asked as I pulled my eyes away from Jaha's friend, and looked desperately at Jaha.

Jaha let out a deep breath, looking down at the pier and shaking his head before looking up again and into my eyes, "He's gone, Riley."

"What?" I whispered, my vocal chords no longer working. I looked from Jaha, back to his friend, whom was no looking down at the pier. "Gone where?"

Jaha let out a deep breath, and my eyes shot back to him as he started shaking his head again, "Gone."

Suddenly, I couldn't breath. I tried, but I wasn't getting enough oxygen. It felt as though everything around me was caving in, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I couldn't be here, not anymore. Not with Jaha's sympathetic stares, and I could tell by the silence behind me that Breton and June had heard his words, too.

Involuntarily, my head started shaking. I couldn't do this, not now. This was too much for me to face. I had just gotten him, how could he be gone? I saw a gap between Jaha and this strange man next to him, so I took it.

"Riley!" June screamed as my feet brought me off the pier and onto solid ground, but I didn't listen.

"Tore." Jaha said, and when I heard feet pounding after me, I realized that must've been this guy's name.

I only picked up my pace. I couldn't do this, be around people. Not now, not with him gone. I needed Murphy, why the hell wasn't he here? Why the hell was some grounder chasing me through the woods at dawn? Why wasn't Murphy here to punch this grounder's dumb ass?

I could feel exhaustion kicking in, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to run for much longer. This guy was good, too. He was clearly a runner, like me. I slowly pulled out Murphy's knife from my pocket.

I had managed to keep it hidden from the thief in the dunes, not like the thief would've wanted a bit of scrap metal with some guy's initials on it.

Murphy's knife in my hand gave me the strength I needed to wheel myself around, pointing the knife in Tore's direction. His eyes bulged as he came to a halt five feet away from me, his hands flying up in defeat.

"Whoah, calm down." Tore said as he looked from my eyes back to the knife.

"Stay away from me." I hissed, taking a step back. I could feel my eyes watering up.

"Look, I'm sorry about your friend." Tore said, "But you can't just run away."

"Don't talk about him." I spat, and I could feel the sadness turning into anger.

How the fuck could Murphy leave me like this?

"Okay." Tore let out a deep breath. "My name is Tore. You're Riley, right?"

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to take a deep breath as I nodded.

"That's a pretty name." Tore said, and my eyes shot open to glare at him.

"What happened to him?" I asked as I slowly dropped my arm that was holding the knife.

"I'm sorry, I wish I could tell you. I work for Allie, I never knew your friend." Tore said as he dropped his hands, biting his lip as he continued watching the knife.

"He's my everything." I admitted, and I felt my body having trouble breathing.

Murphy was gone. My Murphy. The love of my life, my best friend. The guy who's saved my life in so many ways. I could feel my heart shattering into a million pieces, and I had no clue how I was going to put it together.

I hadn't slept for nearly three days, and I had ran too far. Then, I couldn't breath. It was almost as if my body didn't want to breath knowing he wasn't there.

My view went foggy, and before I knew it the ground was coming up to meet me. Then, I let the darkness wash over me. I could only hope that when I woke up, it would have all been a dream.

But it hadn't been. And I couldn't even cry. I felt numb. I became numb.


	2. Chapter 2

**First chapter in Murphy's POV! Words can't express anything. I'm so excited to go into his mind. Sidenote, we had a new shampoo at work so my hair smells weirdly good.**

 **Follow tumblr Rileyparkerneedstoshutup if you want sneak peaks and other fun content!**

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MURPHY'S POV: BOAT TO CITY OF LIGHT

I had wanted to be on the boat making my way to the city of light. But not without Riley. Never without Riley. I had rowed in silence for hours, replaying her words- her begging me to get on the boat without her. Me, turning around to tell her I loved her. Her nodding her head and cutting off my sentence, saying she knew.

I still should've fucking said it.

I knew I was in love with her the first time I ever saw her cry. Her tears had made me so angry, and I felt so helpless watching her cry over her father's cruelty. She was so young, so fragile back then. I had wanted to kill her father for kicking her out of the house that night, and making her so afraid to ever even go back. But in the end, that's how our tradition started.

She had stayed at my house a few times before, but never like that. I had never held her to sleep, telling her about how my day had gone. Waiting until she would finally calm down and stop shaking.

I had told her that night that I never wanted to see her hurt, and she had asked me why.

"You're my best friend." I had told her.

"I'm your only friend." She reminded me, the tears no longer falling, but the sadness was still there.

"And the best only friend I could ever want." I said to her, and her face lit up slightly.

"Will we be best friends forever?" She had asked, with her intense hopeful stare.

"Yes. We will be." I told her. In the moment, I had always thought it would be true. It had to be true.

A groaning from behind me reminded me that I was still on a boat. A boat without her. The day had turned dark while I was stuck in my thoughts, in my memories.

"Hey, Ahab, get some rest." I said to Ahab Richards, who had been rowing for the past five hours while I went back into my memories. Memories of life on the ark, before everything had gone to shit.

"I'm fine." He grunted.

"No, screw this." Craig from in front of me hissed. "If you're not gonna sleep because she isn't here then you can row." He said as he threw down the oar in anger, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Get back on that oar, Craig." Jaha from the front of the boat said, not even turning to look at us.

"Or what?" Craig spat. "We don't even know if we're going in the right direction anymore. We followed that drone across the open ocean. Hell we deserve to die."

I felt my whole body tense at his words. I couldn't die, not like this. If I died here, on this boat, Riley would never know why I didn't come back. There was still so much I wanted to do.

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm good to row." I said. He had been right, I wasn't going to sleep anything soon. Probably not until I passed out from exhaustion, or saw Riley. Whichever came first.

"Land?" Richards said, and I saw his hand jut out from behind me and point in front of us."Land!"

Looking ahead of us I saw a beam of light. A lighthouse. We had almost made it, which meant I could then go back for Riley. I sat up, and couldn't help but let out a whoop of excitement.

"How does an island of light sound to you, John?" Jaha said as everyone else started celebrating.

Richards and Craig quickly went back on the oars, rowing faster, when suddenly something big hit the side of the boat, moving it and causing Richards to drop his oar.

"What was that?" Craig yelled, as he looked around the boat desperately.

"Get that oar, get that oar." Jaha yelled, pointing near Richards to the oar that was floating away.

Suddenly the boat was hit again, and tipped it so fast that Richards fell out. My hand flew out and grabbed his flailing hands, trying to pull him back into the boat as Jaha kept yelling for someone to get the oar. Sharp teeth came out of the water, pulling Richards and tearing against my arm.

Searing hot pain shot up my arm as I fell back into the boat, holding my arm close to my chest. Craig was yelling, and I felt Jaha near me grabbing cloth and yanking my arm away from my chest, wrapping it up to prevent the bleeding.

Everything had gone wrong so fast. Craig wasn't rowing, he was trying to find the creature, and the creature hit the boat so hard that water had started to leak into it.

"I can do it, I can row!" I mustered out as I tried to pull myself up, thinking about how I really couldn't die now. Not with Riley waiting on a beach for me. We needed to get to land, fast.

Jaha suddenly pushed Craig off the boat, and then whipped back to me when I tried to help Craig back onto the boat. Jaha pushed me back, making sure I stayed in the boat as the creature came back and took Craig.

"What the fuck?" I hissed to Jaha as he let go of me, and then handed me the oar. I was suddenly immensely thankful Riley hadn't been on the boat, considering Craig and Richards were now gone.

"He couldn't row, you can." Jaha quipped, and as I started rowing again, I realized I was on a boat with a fucking insane lunatic.

When we finally got to land I didn't know even what to do. My arm was in so much pain, and I had lost so much blood. I had been rowing for a whole day. The last time I had slept well was a few days before, when Riley was in my arms.

Now she was on the other side of a fucking ocean.

"Come on John, let me help you." Jaha said as he got out of the boat, looking at me.

"I don't want anything from you." I hissed. And it was true. I wanted the people on the other side of the fucking ocean, not Jaha. I had screwed up big time by getting on the boat.

"You're a survivor." Jaha mumbled, "We both are."

What he didn't seem to understand was I had something to survive for. And I needed to get her back.

"You know what, I am a survivor." I hissed as I got out of the boat, glaring at Jaha. "Which is why I am done following you. I will find my way back to Riley by myself."

I was dizzy, and found myself on the ground a lot sooner than expected. I had lost too much blood. Jaha wouldn't get away from me, and I couldn't get away from him. I was filling with so much anger and regret. Why the hell had I gotten on the boat? I know I had wanted to get to the city of light, but without Riley?

I had screwed up, big time.

"I'll come back to you, John." Jaha said as he started following another fucking drone that had appeared.

I had felt like a was dying.

I had woken up the next day, by some miracle. With a shinny ass lighthouse glaring light at me. Something in the sand reflected light back into my eyes, and I bent down and brushed the sand off of another solar panel.

Faintly, I could hear music playing after the panel was cleared off. I got up, and slowly walked until I found a door on the lighthouse. Carefully, I tried to pry open the door with my hands. I needed to find someone, anyone, and try to get back across the ocean.

The door came open, and unknown to me at that moment, I had just opened the place where I would spend the next three months in. In hell.


	3. Chapter 3

**Happy Tuesday! Welcome to another exciting chapter of, 'What happened between season two and three'. AKA Everyone is depressed except Tore, and Jaha.**

 **If you want to see sneak peaks, and other fun stuff, follow tumblr handle rileyparkerneedstoshutup**

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 _"Are you saying to me that if I had been given the chance to 'hook up' with someone, I should've taken it?" Murphy rebutted, his eyes still on the stars. It was becoming cool, and I almost could shiver._

 _Murphy then turned his head to look at me. Murphy's intense stare was on me, and he raised a brow at me while he waited for a response. It took me a moment to respond. I let out a deep breath and turned to lay on my back and look up at the stars instead._

 _"I don't know what I'm saying." I finally admitted. "I just guess, that." I let out another deep breath, feeling my heart clench slightly. I had been yet again faced with something I had avoided, and damn was it hard. "I had always assumed it would be us, and I had never wanted to think differently."_

 _The silence after what I had said hadn't lasted long, and within seconds Murphy had pulled himself on top of me, his strong arms and legs preventing him from crushing me. Gently, he lowered himself closer to me, his lips meeting mine as he moved one of his legs in between mine._

 _With his body pressed so closely to mine, feeling every part of him, I had started to realize how true I had just been. I had always imagined this when I had thought of the future when I was a young teen._

 _With Murphy so close to me, it felt as if every part of my skin that he touched sparked to life. His hand on hip, pushing my shirt up. The very same shirt he had given me months earlier to save me from being indecent around a bunch of criminals. Murphy helped me shrug myself out of my jacket, and then he took his off, tossing it. Then his hands were back to the hem of my shirt, slowly pulling it up._

 _Murphy began to surround my every sense. The smell of him, feeling his hair in between my fingers as I wrapped my arms around his neck, the taste of his mouth against mine, hearing him groan slightly as he pushed himself even closer to me. Seeing his face so close to mine. I lived in this moment._

 _When our mouth parted, we were both gasping for air. I looked at him as he rested his forehead against mine, except something was different. Murphy's skin had turned grey, like ash. A scream started getting caught in my throat._

 _"Murphy?" I said questioningly, bringing a hand away from his neck to touch his face._

 _Murphy's eyes shot open, but instead of seeing the blue I had grown accustomed to seeing, his eyes were completely black._

 _"I'm dead, Riley." Murphy said, and I could feel his weight dissipating from atop of me as his skin flaked away into the wind, and although I tried to hold onto him tighter, suddenly he was gone._

And I was screaming.

"RILEY." It was June, and suddenly I was coming to. I looked around my room desperately. My tiny, dumb room, on this tiny, dumb boat.

"Bed." I whispered as I felt around me, "Bookcase." I whispered as I looked across to the empty bookcase built into the wall right at the foot of the bed, "Window." I whispered as I looked to the left to the tiny porthole, which currently was pitch black.

It was nighttime, I had been dreaming.

"Riley." June whispered this time, and I looked next to me to see her sitting on my bed, her face painted with exhaustion and worry. "You were screaming his name again."

I felt my throat go dry as I looked away from her and out the porthole, watching the water lap at the top.

"What happened?" Tore yelled as he burst through my open door, half dressed and wielding two knives.

"Tore." June scolded, and I could tell she was glaring at him.

"I'm sorry I woke you guys up." I mumbled, my eyes trained on looking outside. I couldn't face them, not right now.

"Do you want to talk about it?" June asked, and I shook my head.

"I never want to talk about it." I reminded her.

"Go back to bed, June." Tore said as he came closer to my bed, and suddenly they started whispering to each other. Whatever Tore said must've satisfied her though, because she left, closing the door behind her.

I felt Tore sit on the bed, and turned to look at him as he let out a yawn. We stared at each other, him raising a brow at me.

"Go back to bed, Tore." I muttered, turning away from him to look out the window again.

"Are you going back to bed?" Tore asked, but didn't even wait for me to respond before continuing, "No? Well then, I'm not either."

I let out a deep breath, rolling my eyes. I swear, I was starting to wonder if I would ever be able to get rid of Tore. Ever since he saw me, he had been five steps behind me.

"I know you aren't going to talk about him, even though that's literally healing one-oh-one. You talk, and grieve, and then get over it." Tore said, and I couldn't help but whip my head to look at him again, my braid swinging.

Whenever my hair got too knotted, June would sit down behind me as I looked out into the water, with a comb and brushed it out before putting it all into a braid. I had never worn my hair in braids before, I had always loved the feeling of it down. I had loved the feeling of the wind through my hair when I ran. Now, nothing seemed to matter.

"Do you want me to punch you in the face again?" I asked as I glared at him, reminding him of how a few weeks ago he had tried to get me from sitting on the boat in my thinking spot, and had decked in in the face.

I still didn't like people touching me. Murphy was gone, and suddenly I didn't want anyone touching me. June and Breton were the only two allowed, and Breton only took care of minor injuries. Which in our line of work, was unfortunately quite often for him.

Whenever Breton had to clean out a cut, or align a bone, I imagined Murphy standing behind him, getting angry at Breton. I could still hear him groaning at the idea of someone touching me, and his growl-like threats whenever someone got too close. And I missed it. I really did. I missed every part of him. The good, the bad, all of it. Because none of it was really bad, not to me.

Tore's eyes bugged out for a moment, and even though he was holding freaking knives, he seemed worried. Tore was a complete dork. He was strong, and knew so much, but at the same time, couldn't seem to defend himself it it was me or June going after him.

"Fine, we don't have to talk. We can sit here." Tore said, "But I'm not letting you sit here all night alone."

I rolled my eyes, but I still moved over towards the window so he could sit next to me on the bed. Because even though I was 85% sure I hated Tore, it was nice to have someone around.


	4. Chapter 4

**Happy Murphiley Monday!**  
 **Here's a chapter from season one rewritten in Murphy's POV. Cause you know, he's most likely reliving this in his mind while in the bunker. I would be.**  
 **Tumblr handle rileyparkerneedstoshutup to join the conversation!**

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Season 1, Chapter ending of Chapter 4, and all of Chapter 5. Murphy's POV.

Riley wasn't allowed to help build the wall, which I was immensely thankful for. I may not have trusted most of Bellamy's choices, but that one I certainly did. The girl found herself in trouble just by tending the fire. I saw the looks the other delinquents gave her when they thought I wasn't looking.

She may have gone through hell in the grounder camp, but it never detracted away from her beauty. I was even more relieved when Bellamy made her best friend Reed sit out too. That way, she at least had someone with her most of the time.

After three days of watching men give her looks, and her siting there by the fire looking sweet and innocent, and completely unable to protect herself, I decided I had enough. I couldn't sit around and merely hope she'd be safe whenever I looked away.

I packed up a meal and a few knives into a backpack, and right when Reed went off to pick flowers or whatever I plucked Riley off her perch and dragged her into the forest.

"What the fuck?" She asked, and I loosened my hold on her arm. I knew she wasn't really expecting this from me, but she should have been.

"You need to learn how to defend yourself." I told her as we stopped in a clearing. I let go of her arm and although the look on her face told me she knew what I was talking about, I couldn't help but continue.

I dropped down the backpack by a tree before adding, "I'm going to walk away from camp one day to take a piss," I began, and her eyes flickered back to mine to show her annoyance. "And Connor," She flinched slightly at the name, "or someone, will come and grab you. You will have wished the grounders had killed you after they do."

She looked more angry with herself than with me. I doubt she wanted to admit it, but even she knew she was vulnerable. The way our friendship had gone since we landed, I couldn't be around her all the time. I wasn't even sure she wanted me around. I mean, why else did she stop visiting me in the skybox? Why else had she gone and made all these attractive male friends? Okay, so the last one definitely wasn't about me. But I never had to share her before, and I wasn't sure I could even. If she even wanted me in her life to begin with.

We stood across from each other, in a dead lock of frowns before she finally nodded, "Are you going to call me an idiot again if I thank you for protecting me? Because if so I can just-" I couldn't hear her sass anymore.

I didn't want her thanks. Well, I did. But not right now, right now I needed her to learn how to protect herself. So I lunged in her direction. She quickly side-stepped out of the way, a look of awe covering her face before she looked down at the knife I was twirling. Suddenly it all clicked in her pretty little head, and the training had begun.

LINE BREAK

At that point our training had begun, and let me tell you, I lost count of how many times I had knocked her to the ground. I tried to be gentle, but at the same time I knew if I was too gentle she wouldn't learn. She had always needed a firm push. In this case, a firm push included her falling onto the ground.

"Are you listening to me at all?" I asked her as I walked around her. She was on the ground, yet again. She looked exhausted, and finally I let out a sigh. It was close to lunchtime, and I decided to finally take pity on her.

I walked over to the tree I had tossed the backpack at, and leaned against it before sinking down to the ground. I watched as she slowly picked herself off of the ground, slightly hesitant. I refrained from smirking at her and instead opened the backpack and pulled out a water bottle. As she walked over I took a sip and then motioned for her to sit down next to me and take the bottle.

She smiled lightly before she sat down next to me. When she grabbed the bottle of water, her hand brushed mine and all I wanted to do was grab her hand and never let go.

"So, earth." She said, and I couldn't help but let out a light chuckle. Her shoulder was against mine, and she had a calming smell to herself. Most likely some plant Reed found.

"So, earth indeed." I agreed, still chuckling.

Silence filled the air, and I went back into the backpack, pulled out some jerky and an apple-like fruit for her. She took them and I grabbed some from myself.

"You do know why I stopped visiting, right?" She asked, her voice filled with nervousness. I went tense, and couldn't help but let out a deep sigh.

Realistically, I knew she probably stopped visiting because she was locked up. But there was always this nagging idea in the back of my mind that she genuinely didn't want to visit me.

"I didn't know until I had seen you on earth. I had heard rumors. But you hear a lot of rumors on the level I was on, and not all of them are true." I admitted to her, my hands clenching into fists. I focused my eyes on the apple in my hand, watching as my nails punctured the rind and juices flowed out of it. "When did you get locked up?"

"About a week after I had seen you last." She said, and I snuck a glance to see her tearing up the jerky into tiny pieces and resting them on her lap.

I let out a deep breath, and I could feel my whole body easing. I let go of the fruit, and it rolled out of my palm and onto the ground next to my knee. "Is that how you met reed?" I asked her.

"Yeah." She let out a chuckle. "When I first met Reed, the first words she said to me," she began, her face lighting up as she turned her body slightly to look at me better, "was, and I'm not making this up," At this point I raised a brow, a smile starting to form on my face, "she said; 'Oh good, I have a new roommate. I hope you don't know how to make shanks out of mattress springs as well, because I don't know if I can stomach being woken up at three am again to someone holding a spring to my neck and mumbling a satanic ritual'."  
I shook my head, trying to prevent myself from smiling. She was smiling so brilliantly back at me, I wanted to forgive everything and forget it all. Start back up where we had been before I had gotten locked up. Go back to being best friends. I smiled for a moment before I remembered about her other friends.

"How did you meet Jasper and Monty?" I said, and I could hear the venom in my words. I wanted to take it all back, but then she grabbed my hand. She held on tightly to my hand.

"A few months ago they had been brought in, and about a week after, Reed was forced to take measures into her own hands to make sure they wouldn't get killed. I swear if it wasn't for the fact that Reed is a distant cousin of mine, I would've killed that girl myself. But she has a certain charm, when she's not you know, pointing out your flaws and saving people's lives." She said, giving my hand a squeeze just like she did when we were kids. I squeezed it back.

"Jasper looks at you like the world shines around you." I told her, and although I knew she was staring at me, I continued to look at our hands.

"In his defense, you've literally have only have seen him before he had met Octavia, and now that he has, he nearly died and is looking at just about everyone like that." She said, and I couldn't help but finally look at her, raising my brow. She looked at my raised brow and added, "Except for you. But I think he is convinced anyone he didn't know pre-near death is inherently evil." I looked away from her again, letting out a sigh.

"I don't blame him for having looked at you like that." I told her, and I could tell the shock made her drop my hand. I smirked, before looking at her. "You grew up beautifully, Rhy." I finally let go of her hand as well, and watched out of the corner of my eye as her hand went back to her lap.

She blushed, and she playfully pushed me before looking away.

"You don't need to be such an asshole." She remarked, smiling while she threw pieces of the torn jerky into her mouth.

"Oh really, I'm being an asshole?" I asked her, and let out a bark of laughter as I nudged her with my shoulder.

She looked back up at me as she raised her hand to cover her mouth before giggling and nodding.

"I pay you a compliment and I'm the asshole?" I teased, grabbing my jerky and tearing a bit off with my teeth, chewing it debatably loud.

"Are you questioning my logic?" She asked, her hand still over her mouth. The twinkle in her eyes made my heart swell.

"Oh no, I would never." I told her, smiling back at her before forcing myself to look out in front before I did something like kiss her. I could tell she looked at me for a little bit longer, and then she leaned into me, letting our shoulders collide.

Not even thirty minutes later we were back to our mock fighting. Every once in a while a huge smile would appear on her face, and it was obvious she was having a lot of fun running around. She looked like a complete and utter dork running around with a huge grin on her face, but I loved it.

As the day progressed, I could feel myself trying to give myself more excuses to touch her. Holding onto her hand a little longer than I should, gently pushing her down and almost guiding her down. She'd randomly ask questions, and overtime as she did I wanted to just stop and look at her. But I forced myself to remain composed.

"Did you make any friends in your section of the skybox?" She asked.

I frowned slightly, before backing up from my strike pose and walking around her. "I wouldn't call them friends." Riley had to start turning to keep eye contact with me as I kept walking in a circle around her, "They are like bugs following the light. They all want power. Luckily for Mbege and myself, we got ourselves in good standing once we landed on earth, but before then on the skybox, it was mostly every man for himself."

Mbege was a good friend, for the most part. As far as friendship went in the skybox, at least.

"So the people you spend most of your time with aren't your friends?" She asked, frowning at me. I finally stopped pacing around her and sighed deeply, my shoulders slumping momentarily as I lifted my hand to rub my eyes.

"Let's just say," I began, dropping my hands and staring into her eyes. "If I was in trouble, they probably wouldn't come to help me."

She stared back at me, and I could see her sincerity in her eyes as she whispered, "I would."

I couldn't help but let out a chuckle. Of course she would, of course I had been worrying about nothing ever since she stopped visiting. Why did she always do this to me?

"Well good thing I'm never in trouble then." I began, as I swiftly made my way over to her, "Because I would be screwed." My hands roughly grabbed her shoulders, about to push her down.

Then she did something so amazingly like herself. Just when I thought she couldn't surprise me anymore than she already had, she maneuvered herself in such a bizarre way, that I ended up on my stomach on the ground, her chest against my back as she laid on top of me.

"See, sometimes I can be helpful." She said cheerfully, and I knew she must've been celebrating her unusual success. How could she think she won? I had the fucking knife.

"I'm still holding the knife." I remarked dryly, bringing my hand around to wave the knife.

"I could be choking you or something." She said, and her arms went around my neck gently to prove a point miserably.

While she was too busy patting herself on the back metaphorically, I elbowed her in her ribcage. In surprise, her hands left my neck and she rolled off my back, and onto the ground next to me.

Before I could even stop myself I climbed on top of her small frame, and lowered myself closer to her as I looked into her eyes. If I saw any sign of her wanting me anywhere else, I would get off of her. But instead I watched as she stared back at me nervously. She bit her lip as she always did when she was nervous.

Her lips looked unbelievably smooth, and I found myself needing to know how they would feel against my own. As my eyes went to hers, I noticed her looking at my lips as well.

I waited one more moment, to see if she'd freak out. She was very particular about people touching her, but so far she seemed to be fine. She was always fine around me, and the fact that hadn't changed calmed me. She calmed me.

I pressed my lips onto hers, trying to remain confident in my decision to do so. Instead of fighting it, I felt her kiss back. I brought myself even closer to her, our bodies fitting each others too perfectly.

I made myself end the kiss before it got too far, before she could even grow nervous about it. But as I looked down at her, I had a feeling she hadn't wanted it to end yet. I hadn't either, but instead I pulled myself away from her and onto two feet. I held my hand out for her, and easily pulled her up off the forest floor. I continued pulling her until she was right next to me, our bodies touching yet again. She stared into my eyes for a moment longer before she looked away, and I felt her breathing pick up.

"Never forget your place, Rhy." I whispered to her, watching as her head whipped back in my direction and she looked at me in confusion.

"And where's my place?" She asked as I dropped her hand. I brought my hands up around her, wrapping around her waist to pull her closer.

"Right here." I said seriously. She belonged with me, just as she always had. And always would. We belonged together, and before she could fight me on it or question it, I brought her in for another kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

**Tonight's the season finale! Or something. I'm a few episodes behind because I can't watch tv unless I'm binging it. Which honestly is what I can say about just about anything. Food? Binge. Exercise? Binge.**  
 **This is Murphy's POV for Murphy's Law. It's okay. Season one for some reason is so hard to write. Season three has been easy so far, until a point.**  
 **Anyways, please review! I'm working on rewriting Season One. I'm rambling**.

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Murphy's POV for Murphy's Law

Reed was fucking weird. Really fucking weird. The next day after I taught Riley how to defend herself, Reed gave me weird looks as she waggled her brows, leaving the camp with Sterling. What an odd ball. Even Riley seemed perplexed by Reed's actions.

I watched Riley from the corner of my eye. She seemed at peace, working on the aloe plants in her lap. I had to force myself not to smile when I noticed she was using one of my knives. The wind made her hair keep falling into her eyes, but instead of tying it back she merely brushed it behind her ear every few minutes. Not that I'd ever complain about that, she had gorgeous hair that I longed to run my fingers through.

I grew sidetracked by the delinquents around me. Connor seemed exhausted, and kept stumbling. I still couldn't stand Connor, not since he started looking at Riley. I have no clue what skybox section Connor was in before, but he treated Riley as though he hadn't seen a girl in a long ass time.

"This section should be finished by tomorrow. Hey! You think the Grounders are just gonna sit around, and wait for us to finish the wall? Maybe we should let the little girl do the lifting for you, huh?" I said as I looked around, growing angry at Connor incompetence. Even more annoyed when he stumbled on his feet because a girl yelped.

My gaze followed his, and my heart dropped when I saw Riley jumping over the log she had been sitting on to hug Jasper. Seeing him holding her made me feel physically ill. He twirled her around, I wanted to storm over there and rip him away from her. She started laughing as her feet landed back on the ground. Instead, all I could do was focus down at the man on the ground in front of me, Connor.

"I just need some water, okay? Then I'll be fine." Connor said, but his eyes were still on Riley. He was thirsty alright, but not for water.

"Murphy, get this man some water." Bellamy said snidely, and although I highly doubted he could tell just how disgusted I was with Connor, I was still happy enough to hear him giving me his nonverbal approval to do whatever the hell I want.

Connor's eyes were still on Riley, so distracted he didn't even hear me unzip my pants.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Murphy?" Connor yelled, his hands flying up to cover himself from my pee.

Debatably a low point, peeing on someone. When I zipped up my pants and looked around, I saw just how socially inappropriate my actions may have been. I may have been smiling about it, but Riley looked completely and utterly disgusted.

"Look at you, you wanted a water break. Get back to work." I said as I looked back at Connor as he started to stand up. While he glared at me, my eyes flickered back to Riley again, nonverbally pointing out to Connor where he crossed the line. "No water until this section is up!" I added, looking around at the other delinquents. Connor backed away, and I snuck another glance at Riley. Her eyes hadn't moved off of me as she walked over to the pile of logs. "What are you staring at, huh?" I teased her, and she grew flush with annoyance.

"You son of a bitch!" Clarke screeched while she was storming up to me, rudely pushing past Riley and getting right into my face.

"What's your problem?" I hissed, taking a step back from her. She had hellbent written in her eyes, and I didn't want her anywhere near me.

"Recognize this?" Clarke lifted up her hand, practically shoving a knife in my face. I looked at the knife in her hand, not able to hide my shock. It was the knife I had lost.

"It's my knife." I remarked, taking another step back and watching her wearily. "Where'd you find it?"

I was starting to get a bad feeling about all of this. My eyes left Clarke's for one moment to see Riley eavesdropping on the conversation, waiting hesitantly in case she felt the need to jump it.

"Where you dropped it after you killed Wells." I could see the tears forming in Clarke's eyes as I looked back at her.

Shit. This wasn't going to go well.

"Where I what?" I asked, trying not to sputter in shock. "The grounders killed Wells, not me."

"I know what you did, you're going to pay for it." Clarke said, taking another step closer to me.

I was so screwed. My word against Blondie's?

"Murphy couldn't have killed him, I saw him enter his tent early in the night." Riley's angelic voice broke through, and I let out a light breath of relief. She had my back. My girl. My eavesdropping girl.

Other people had slowly begun to gather around us, following in Riley's eavesdropping footprints.

"He threatened to kill him." Clarke said as her head whipped in Riley's direction, and I wanted to go to her rescue when she gave a taken aback look at Clarke. Clarke's head quickly turned back in my direction, however. "We all heard you. You hated Wells."

"Plenty of people hated Wells. His father is the chancellor that got us all locked up." I pointed out, hoping she'd see reasoning.

"Yeah, but you're the only one of them who got into a knife fight with him." Clarke rebutted, and I wanted to yell.

"Yeah, I didn't kill him then, either." I reminded her, trying not to remember my violent streak that nearly ended in Wells killing me, not the other way around.

"Tried to kill Jasper, too." Octavia decided to bud in, pointing out yet another cringely true detail. Riley flinched as Octavia spoke, and was near yelling as the crowd nodded in agreement.

"Oh come on. This is ridiculous. I don't have to answer to you. I don't have to answer to anyone." I said, looking around at all of them. Riley twitched, and as I looked at Bellamy I realized that was the wrong thing to say.

"I say we float him!" Connor yelled, rallying all the delinquents into agreement. My eyes went wide in astonishment, and confusion. What the hell was happening?

"I just said it couldn't have been him!" Riley all but screetched, silencing the stirring crowd. They all stared at her blankly as she said, "He never left his tent. Only some little girl did."

I may have been happy for her to come to my rescue a few minutes earlier, but now that they all had their greedy eyes on her, I wasn't so sure. She looked around at the delinquents near her, and the frown on her face grew. All I wanted to do was stop that frown.

"We all saw you two leave yesterday, and come back all smitten. I bet you were his accomplice in killing Wells! It's justice. Float them both!" Connor shouted, and I'm just about positive my heart stopped.

"No!" I yelled, my eyes still on Riley. But she wasn't looking at me anymore. Her mind was clearly melting down, and she was full on freak out mode as her eyes kept darting to the kids around her in fear.

I tried to run towards her, but my path was cut off by other delinquents. I snarled in anger, trying to push past them. I wouldn't let her get hurt, not defending me. God, what the ever loving fuck?

I was too busy watching her to even notice them gag me, and as I was tossed around, I heard her horrified screams. Through the crowd I could still see her.

Diggs had his hands on her, and I could see the tears of anger forming as she tried to push him away. But he was too big, too strong. She hated people touching her, and the way he was definitely wouldn't be okay in her mind.

She went out of sight as they kicked me down a hill, but I could still hear her screams. Why wasn't anyone helping her? Why wasn't anyone helping me? Okay, I mean I could see why they might not be helping me, but Riley? She nearly died going to try to get food for everyone at Mt. Weather.

Myles tossed a noose to Connor, and Connor didn't even wait for someone to pull me off the ground. He merely wrapped it around my neck and used that to drag me off the ground. Riley was still yelling, until Diggs handed her over to Connor, and Connor groped her as he brought a knife to her neck.

Only then was she silent. I couldn't yell, I couldn't speak, I could hardly breathe. All I could do was shake my head as I looked into Riley's eyes. The fear, the loneliness. So many emotions were written in her eyes, and all I wanted to do was make it better.

But having known me is what got her here in the first place.


	6. Chapter 6

**Guys. Guys. GUYS. We are starting season three now! Shit. I've had this written since I finished season two. I couldn't stand them apart. I'm an emotional wreck. GUYS.**  
 **Tumblr handle rileyparkerneedstoshutup for sneak peaks, and other fun stuff! **

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A lot had happened in three months, but at the same time, nothing had changed. The drone had lead us to a dock and a big ass boat. We followed the north star across the water. We found Jaha.

But Murphy was gone.

Jaha introduced us to someone, named Tore. He was a couple years older than me, with tan skin and grounder tattoos covering his neck and arms. He worked for some lady named Alie. She held the key to the city of light, or some bullshit. Jaha had a job for us, to help Tore recover technology and bring it back. I didn't know why Alie had needed random bits of technology, but it didn't matter to me.

It had ultimately been up to me, as to where we went. We were all lost souls, we hadn't a home. June and Breton's home was each other. My home was now nowhere.

Tore taught us the tools of the trade. He showed us how to find mainland without having to go through the dead zone. My running actually became useful. Tore taught me how to play dead, then they'd steal shit, and if things got too heavy I was fast enough to run away and not get caught.

I could feel myself changing, but I didn't care. I didn't want to eat most days. Some days all I had wanted to do was sleep, seeing Murphy in my dreams. Other days I couldn't stand the idea of seeing him in my dreams and having to wake up to the truth.

In my dreams, I was visited by him. I'd see him as a kid, and relived the first time I had met him. He had been nice to me from the start. I'd see the night I told him about my dad, and how he had refused to let me go back home. I saw us laughing together as we built blanket forts, and his arms around me as I cried. Then his arms around me when he cried. For some reason, it didn't matter who was hurt. His arms would be around me, as if him holding me made him feel better too. I could see him giving me his father's ring after his father died, and me giving him my mother's.

What was even worse was the nightmares. Sometimes, I'd be in a memory, and suddenly it would change. Murphy would die, his body turning into ash and blowing away before my eyes. You could call it P.T.S.D., you could call it whatever you wanted, really. But seeing him dying was still better than not seeing him at all.

The truth was, something inside me changed when I learned Murphy was never coming back. I became stronger, like I had when he had gotten exiled. But also, sadder. I stopped caring about my wellbeing. I stopped caring about everything, really.

He was gone. Nothing was changing that.

Tore had found out the hard way how much I didn't want anyone to ever touch me. During the first month he had tried to stir me from my perch at the front of the boat, trying to get me to stop looking down at the water. He brought his face so close to mine when he touched my shoulder. Without even thinking, I punched him square in the face.

He stayed away from me for a week after that.

I knew June had hated seeing me this way. June and Breton didn't know what to do with me. I refused to go back to camp Jaha, on the premise that if for some reason Reed had actually died, that it would break me apart. Not going back meant I could keep that sliver of hope that she was fine. When I thought of Camp Jaha, I imagined Reed showing more plants to Monty, smiles on both of their faces. I thought of Sterling with Mel, looking at each other like they had before we had left. In my mind, everyone was safe and sound, and that was the only way I could think of them.

When I ran was the only time I felt something. I could close my eyes, and see him. Murphy rolling his eyes as I ran around him in the forest. Murphy laughing as I raced him to the top of a dune. His hands on me, his laughter in my ear. His forehead against mine.

I could see all of the good memories, but also all of the bad ones. Murphy getting dragged away by the guard, and me visiting him in the skybox. How full of anger he had been after his father had died, and his mother began drinking. Murphy getting hanged, and then how badly he had been hurt by the grounders.

I couldn't handle it most days. But when Jaha told me that going to the city of light would cure me of my pain, I had still refused. Tore was angry and jealous about it. He for some crazy reason had wanted to go to the city of light.

When June had asked me why I refused, I looked down at the chip Jaha had given me and said to her, "Feeling pain is my reminder that he existed. I don't ever want to forget him. I need to feel this pain, and maybe someday I'll be better. Maybe someday it won't hurt so much."

As we went into the third month of him being gone, I felt myself getting better. Sometimes, I would think about him and smile instead of losing my mind. I could feel myself being pulled together slowly piece by piece.

I could feel myself starting to be nice to people. One day Tore touched my shoulder, and although I hated it, I didn't punch him. I had instead let him keep it on my shoulder, knowing for some weird reason it made him happy to do so. Nobody had told Tore exactly what had happened. It was obvious on the days that I got worse that he really wanted to ask. But he was too worried that asking would make it worse. He was right.

For those three months, I didn't talk about Murphy. June would ask, wanting to talk. I couldn't. I wouldn't. Sometimes, when I sat on the boat looking into the water, playing with the chip jaha had given me, I could hear them talking about me. How they wished I would stop looking at the water. How June wished I would talk to her. How Tore wanted to wrap his arms around me and force feed me food.

All I could do was look down at my hands with that chip, and twirl Murphy's dads ring on my thumb. All I had left of Murphy was that ring, and his knife. No photos, nothing. Just his father's ring, a knife, and a shit ton of memories.

"Riley, we're almost there." Tore said as he came and sat down on the boat right next to me, his feet dangling off the edge. "Are you going to stay sitting?"

I nodded, my eyes still on the water as I fumbled with Murphy's ring. Today it was worse, thinking about Murphy. We had gotten the technology and came back on the boat hours ago, but I had sat myself on my spot at the front of the boat, and didn't move. I kept my legs crossed underneath me, slouched forwards and staring down at the water.

"We are going to grab Jaha and that's it. Then we've got to take this stuff to where we always do." Tore continued, and I could feel his eyes on me.

Yet again, I nodded. He let out a deep sigh beside me, and I could see from the corner of my eye him rub his eyes, pushing his jet black hair out of his face.

"It's been three months, Riley." He said, "You need to move on." He placed his hand on my shoulder, in an attempt to comfort me.

I hadn't found it comforting, and tensed up immediately.

"And you need to shut the fuck up." I hissed back. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah," He agreed dryly, "Because no one will fucking tell me. All I hear is about how you changed, and now you scare the shit out of your friends with how unlike you you're been."

He was right, and it holy shit it pissed me off. I hated knowing that everyday, it wasn't just me who had been affected by how I felt.

"I'm getting better." I insisted, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, trying to not force his hand off of me. "It's just going to take me time."

Tore for some reason had taken it upon himself to try to comfort me. Sometimes, he was actually good company. He would go running with me, letting me fall into my own world next to him. He showed me how to use Murphy's knife even better. He would stay up with me on difficult nights, not saying anything. He was a good guy.

On the days I had been better, we would talk about our lives. He had grown up being told about the city of light. His family died trying to get him there, and it had killed him a bit to see them die. I told him about Reed, but never Murphy.

"I know." He let out a deep breath, squeezing my shoulder, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. You are getting better, and we are all so happy that you are."

I didn't know why he was happy about it. I didn't understand Tore. Why he hung around with us after the training had finished. Why he wanted to touch my shoulders, or comfort me. I was a bitch to him for the very start, and for some weird reason he ignored it.

June and Breton docked the boat, before retreating to the back of it to sit around the table. We all waited for Jaha. I stayed in my spot, with Tore next to me, his hand on my shoulder. I felt the boat rock as someone came aboard, and I knew it was Jaha. Thank god, that mean we could leave and then maybe Tore would go suck up to Jaha instead of bugging me. Or at the very least take his hand off of my shoulder.

"You coming?" Jaha asked, which was a first. He never had someone with him.

Then I heard the voice that had plagued my dreams for three months.

"Riley?"

My head whipped around so fast I'm almost certain I gave myself whiplash, my braid snapping back into my face after having whacked Tore's face first. In surprise, he finally let go of my shoulder as he rubbed his face where the braid had smacked him.

My blood went cold. On the pier, not even 20 feet away was Murphy. But how? I didn't care. I couldn't care. It didn't even matter to me if it was a dream or not, or if I was seeing things.

I jumped up so fast I nearly tripped over my own feet. I lunged myself off of the boat, my feet hitting the pier as I watched him start running towards me as well.

And he was real. And somehow, he was really there. I jumped at him, and my arms flew around his neck, my face into crook of my neck as he lifted me up, spinning me around before setting me back on the pier. He held onto me tightly with those strong arms I had remembered, and had longed to much to be back in. He held me so tightly, I could hardly breathe. But I didn't care.

"How?" Was all I could ask into his shirt. But I didn't even want to leave his arms to find out. I didn't ever want to leave his arms. Not ever again.

"Holy shit balls." I heard June yell from the boat, bringing a smile to my face.

" _It can't be_." Breton had said in grounder, but I had known what he said now.

June had taught me. And by taught, I mean whenever she got too annoyed by me sitting and looking at the water, she'd sit down next to me and tell me grounder words and what they meant.

He was really here. June and Breton could see him, I hadn't lost my mind.

"Who the fuck is that asshole and why is he holding her like that?" I heard Tore ask, but I didn't care. I couldn't care. Murphy was here. Murphy's arms were around me, his head next to mine, his lips kissing my head as he brought a hand up to the back of my neck, keeping me as close to him a possible.

"Uh, that 'asshole' is Murphy." June muttered awkwardly.

"The Murphy? The 'he's gone and my life is over' Murphy?" Tore said, and although I could tell he had tried to whisper it, it was clearly audible for everyone. These people need to learn tact.

Murphy held on even tighter at Tore's words, letting out a deep sigh.

"Yeah. Riley's everything." June muttered back, once again. Definitely trying to be quiet, but failing miserably. "And you must've been out of your damn mind if you ever thought you had a chance, too."

I couldn't help but laugh into Murphy's shirt at that. She was right. I had thought Murphy was dead and I had still been his.

Slowly, Murphy released me, but only enough to look at me. Only moments after our eyes met, he brought his face to mine.

With his lips on mine, I was starting to think I definitely did die. The kiss broke way to soon as he then rested his forehead against mine, like he always had.

"God damnit, Rhy." Murphy muttered, his grip on my waist tightening. "Why the fuck did you let me get on that boat?"

My body did something it hadn't done in months. It was if being in Murphy's arms had brought all the feeling back into my limbs, and I began shaking slightly.

"I don't know." I muttered, feeling like a dropship had just landed all my emotions back into my body. "Where were you? Jaha had said you were gone."

Just thinking of that and I had wanted to go beat Jaha into a pulp. And I would've if I hadn't wanted to leave Murphy's arms.

"I was locked in a lighthouse bunker." He said, and my eyes shot open in confusion. I noticed his eyes were still open, as though he was trying to memorize every inch of my face.

What the fuck did that mean? How the fuck did he get locked in a lighthouse bunker? So many questions filled my head, and I felt like I was going to explode.

"We have a lot to talk about." Murphy mumbled under his breath as he lifted his forehead away from mine, giving me another kiss on the lips possessively before adding, "Like who the fuck the guy who was sitting next to you with his hand on your shoulder, is."

"I thought. We thought you were dead." I choked out, and my body's shaking was starting to become unbearable. I wasn't breathing, not correctly. My breaths were too fast, and as the shaking got worse I realized I was going to faint if I didn't calm down.

I watched as Murphy's face mirrored the pain I felt. He closed his eyes as he brought his forehead back down to mine, his hand trying to brush through my braided hair. Which didn't really work out for him.

"I'm never going to let go of you, ever again." Murphy whispered, and I could feel my breathing calming slightly. "I love you, Riley Parker. And you're mine. I won't let you go through that again."

"Guys, we need to go." Tore's voice caused Murphy to tense, and I opened my eyes to see a frown grow on his face as he pulled his forehead away from mine, to glare over at the boat where Tore stood.

"Let them have this, Tore." June hissed, and I looked over just in time to see Tore dodge a punch from June.

"It used to be you who was the one to break us up." My voice cracked slightly as I tried yelling to June.

"That was before you nearly let yourself waste away mourning for him." June grumbled as she motioned with her head towards Murphy.

I wanted to say that everyone around me was being melodramatic, that I hadn't nearly wasted away. But in all honesty, I was almost positive I was a totally different person while Murphy was gone.

Real Riley never would've been able to sit on a boat for hours, just staring off into the water. I just had to hope real Riley was somewhere inside of me. Because the Riley I had been for three months sucked. I knew the Riley I had been sucked. I hated being around myself for the past three months, but it wasn't like I could leave myself.

"Come on, guys." June said, motioning her head towards the boat.

I nodded my head, slowly loosening my hold on Murphy's neck. As I pulled myself away, he grabbed my hand. He had been dead serious about never letting me go, and his hand in mine grounded me.

I looked back at him and smiled, starting to lead him to the boat. I squeezed his hand and he squeezed mine back. Jaha had resumed his spot at the front of the boat, but we ignored him. Now wasn't the time to beat Jaha up. I wasn't even sure I had the energy to beat Jaha up. Tomorrow on the other hand, tomorrow held no garentees for Jaha's safety.

"Seriously, he's back for all of five minutes and she's smiling again?" Tore hissed to June as I leapt onto the back of boat. I gave Tore a glare and looked back and watched Murphy step onto the boat. Murphy's eyes were no longer on me, as he turned his attention to Tore. He looked livid, and I was starting to get the hint that Tore and him were not going to be friends, not one bit.

"Tore, as much as I appreciate how much of a help you've been," I started, as I stared intently at him I felt everyone's eyes on me. It was time to see if real Riley was still inside of me. "But, don't. Don't act like you know what's best for me. The me that was friends with you wasn't even the real Riley."

"And who's the real Riley?" Tore asked, biting his lip slightly as he continued to keep his eyes on me.

"Energetic." June said, and I couldn't help but smile when I looked at her and saw her smiling at me.

"Sarcastic." Breton yelled from where he was at the steering wheel of the ship.

"Nothing you had seen, but everything you knew I should be." I said.

"And then he comes back, and suddenly real Riley exists again?" Tore asked as his eyes went to Murphy skeptically.

"Seriously, who the fuck is this guy?" Murphy spat as he squeezed my hand tighter. I squeezed it back, and he flashed a smirk at me before going back to glaring at Tore. Murphy knew I liked it in a twisted way how violently protective he got around me.

"Murphy, this is Tore. Tore, this is Murphy." June said as she quickly stepped in between the two, ready to prevent a fight. "Riley, go down below and catch up with Murphy. I'll explain everything to Tore." June said and I nodded at her, giving her a thankful smile.

Quickly I pulled Murphy down below while I felt Breton turn the boat.

"My room's over here." I mumbled as I opened the door at the end of the hall.

My room was shit. I mean, it was a room on a freaking small boat. It hardly had enough room for a bed, and had a dumb empty bookcase built into the other side. I always kept the light on inside, mainly because the light switch was only within arms reach when you laid on the bed. Dumb, right? Someone didn't think the design of this boat out too well. Not like I had ever needed anything else in a room, though.

I sat on the edge of the bed, suddenly feeling very drained. As I looked at my bed, I realized I had been on another sleep-deprivation spout. I hadn't slept in days, and I could feel that fact slowly catching up with me.

Murphy sat next to me, our knees touching. "Riley, what happened to you? Who is that guy, and why are you so thin?"

I closed my eyes, letting my body fall back onto the bed. "I had thought you died." I muttered as I let out a deep breath before looking up at the ceiling.

"So you decided to stop eating?" Murphy asked, and I got slightly scared when I felt his knees move, but when I looked up I realized he was just moving up to lay down next to me. I pulled the rest of my legs onto the bed, and turned my body to look at him as he mimicked my posture.

"Yeah." There was no point lying to Murphy. He would've seen right through it. "And that guy was the one who taught us how to become thieves. We steal technology for Jaha to take the his bullshit city of light." I let out a deep sigh, "And no, I don't know what Tore's problem is either. He helps us, so I put up with it."

Yet another reason as to why I had wanted to punch Jaha; his idea of the city of light was swallowing a dumb chip.

Murphy let out a deep sigh, his hand reaching up to touch my cheek. I closed my eyes, and opened them again as I felt his hand go to the braid in my hair. "You braid your hair now?"

I shook my head, "June braids my hair." I brought my hand up, and brushed his hand lightly as I grabbed the end of the braid, pulling out the hair tie. He smiled as he started brushing out the braid with his fingers.

"That's better." Murphy mumbled, bringing his hands through my hair again. "You're starting to look like you again."

"I'm starting to feel like me again." I admitted, smiling at him. My face was starting to hurt, I hadn't smiled this much in what felt like years.

"What had happened to you? What have you done for three months in a lighthouse bunker? Did you decide to not cut your hair for 3 months?"

I brought my hand up to his head, racking my hand through his hair. It was much longer than it had been three months ago, and definitely needed to be cut. He smiled at my touch, and as I pulled my hand away from his head he caught it, bringing it up to his lips and placing a kiss on my knuckles.

"Same as you, really." He said, shrugging, his eyes on my hand as he gently touched every finger as if he hadn't seen a hand before.

I raised my brow as he looked back into my eyes and continued, "Losing my damn mind, Riley. I drank ever second I could, I grew a beard, I nearly killed myself with guilt. And no, my hair hasn't been cut. I know, it's out of control."

The hand he held tightened when he had said he nearly killed himself. I was being hypocritical, of course. There were plenty of times on missions that I had missed queues, hoping that miss-step would kill me. Or not caring if the miss-step would kill me. I don't know what I was thinking really.

A knock came from the door, startling us both into sitting back up. "It's me. I brought food." June said through the door, waiting another moment before coming in.

"I was hoping you," June said as she carried a large tray of food and looked at Murphy, "Could make Riley eat now."

Murphy smiled, nodding his head at June. "Trust me, I'll make sure she eats every bite."

Okay, now they were just being rude. I wasn't that thin. I had been worse before. I had definitely been way worse a month earlier.

June smiled, nodding at Murphy before flashing me a devilish grin and walking out the door, closing it behind her.

"And I do want you to eat all of it." Murphy said, pushing the tray a little closer to me.

"I'm not sure my stomach can fit all of this." I admitted, grabbing some of the bread and bitting a chunk off.

"We'll spread it out over the next few hours while we talk." Murphy said, shrugging.

I didn't want to talk. I wanted to kiss him, to feel his body against mine. But Murphy just stayed sitting up next to me, watching me eat.

"Are you watching me eat?" I asked, my hand going up to my mouth as I continued chewing.

Murphy nodded, a smirk growing on his face. The shit eating smirk I had missed so much it had hurt.

"Riley, I'm not going to be letting you out of my sight for a while. So try not to drink too many fluids." He said, his smirk remaining as he waited for a response.

I snorted, my hand still over my mouth as I tried not to laugh. "Same goes for you, Murph." I replied between chews.

"What did you mean by him not knowing the real you?" Murphy asked.

"You know me." I said, "I'm not afraid of sleeping, or one to say no to food. I don't sit on a boat for hours doing nothing." I closed my eyes, "But that's who I've been for the past three months."

"You were afraid to sleep?" Murphy asked, and I opened my eyes to see the concern that had washed over his face.

"You know that night in the dead zone?" I asked as I shoved more of the bread into my mouth. "When we had been talking about why neither of us had hooked up on the ark, and you were losing your self-control?"

Murphy nodded.

"I kept dreaming, and in the dream, we'd get farther. As if June never pulled a June. And it was wonderful, and then I'd open my eyes, and you'd be turning to ash and telling me that you were dead." I let out a deep sigh, the bread tasting dry in my mouth as I swallowed.

I had never told June my dreams, even after she tried to calm me down. Tore always demanded to know, which normally ended with June nearly shoving her sword up his ass.

"Had you wanted to go further, that night?" Murphy asked, and I dragged my eyes back to him. His blue eyes were boring intensely into me, as if his wellbeing depended on my answer.

"I have loved you for so long, Murphy." I admitted, squishing the bread in my hands. "And maybe its because I lost you, that made everything different. Maybe I hadn't been ready." My words weren't coming out in the order I had meant them to. "But, looking back on it, if we hadn't been in the dead zone, across a fire from June and Breton, I think I'd have let you have it all."

"As much as I love hearing that, Riley, I don't think either of us were ready." Murphy said as he let out a deep sigh and looked away for a moment in deep thought. "We had a lot of thinking to do, both of us."

"I don't think I ever want to think again." I remarked as I looked down at the tray. "All I've done for three months is sit around and think."

"Me too." Murphy agreed before he let out another deep sigh.

Murphy watched in silence as I finished one slice of bread, and as I grabbed another he finally took his jacket off, throwing it onto the bookcase at the foot of the bed.

"Why didn't you go back to camp Jaha?" Murphy finally asked as his eyes left his jacket and went back to me.

I let out a deep breath, waiting a moment for my mouth to clear. "In my mind, Reed's alive. I couldn't risk that being false." I let out another deep breath, "I had waited for two days on that beach for you. June was about to call it quits when a drone flew by, and led us to this boat."

"Rhy." Murphy groaned sadly, "You know that if I could've gone back for you, I'd have done it in a heartbeat, right?" He said as his hand went to my knee.

"Let's talk about something else." I whispered as I took another bite of bread an swallowed, "Anything else."

"Well." Murphy began, squeezing my knee tighter, "I can safely say that I will probably kill your 'friend' Tore."

I could help but let out a loud laugh, throwing my head back and laying down.

"Damn, I forgot how jealous you were of nothing." I mumbled, looking at him as he raised a brow. "I missed it so badly. I had missed you so badly."

Murphy let out a laugh, "Give me that." He said as he snatched the bread from my hand, and threw it on the tray.

"What are you doing, I thought you wanted me to eat all of that." I mumbled as I watched him curiously. He then grabbed the tray and not so gently placed it on the ground, before looking back at me with a smirk.

"We may not be in the city of light." Murphy said as he began to press his body against mine, our eyes meeting as he brought his head close to mine, one leg in between mine and the other on the other side as he let more of his weight fall on me, "But there's a door that closes and I'm going to use that to my advantage."

My arms went around his neck, both of us smiling at each other as he dropped his head closer to mine, bringing me into a world shattering kiss. I felt his hand pull up my shirt, his lips never leaving mine. I slowly brought my right hand down, following his actions by bringing my hand up his shirt, feeling his bare back under my fingers. He let out a deep moan, muttering, "God damnit, Riley." Before bringing his lips back to mine.

And at that moment I realized he wasn't going to stop. And I realized I didn't want him to. "I went for three months with only seeing recordings. And, alternatively, talking back to them." Murphy mumbled as he pulled his head slightly away from mine, and I opened my eyes to see him staring seriously at me, "So if this gets too much, just tell me."

Murphy smiled down at me as he moved away slightly, both of his hands going to the hem of my shirt. Without looking away from my eyes he helped pull my shirt off.

I was covered in scars, from the grounders having cut me up. But he still looked at my body like it was beautiful. Carefully, he bent down and placed a kiss on my shoulder.

"What's this?" Murphy asked as he gently tugged on the stretchy cloth covering my chest. His lips were still so close to my skin I could feel them move.

"It's a bandeau, a grounder bra." I said as my hands flew to the hem of his shirt, and Murphy smirked as he moved away again and in one fluid motion pulled his shirt off his head and threw it behind us. I had a feeling it probably landed on the bookshelf with his jacket.

"Why are you wearing a grounder bra?" Murphy teased as he brought his body back down to mine.

But the instant our skin touched, I could feel us both come alive. I shuttered at his touch and he quickly placed his mouth back on mine, his tongue sliding into my mouth. His mouth only left mine after he had decided the bandeau needed to go, and he pulled it over my shoulders.

Neither of us could stop the noises we made in reaction to the other. The gasps, the moans, even the laughter. His body fit mine too perfectly, as if we had been made to be next to each other.

We were both mesmerized with the others body. His strong arms, his flat abs, the muscles on his back. His body also had scars, from when he had been tortured as well. I wanted to kiss every single one of them, so I did. We drank each other in, carefully exploring the others body.

His body was so different than mine. His showed his strength, while mine showed my ability to fit into tiny gaps and run. His lips traveled around every part of my body, even my dumb pointy elbows. I reveled in his touch, loving the feeling of his lips against my skin.

His lips found there way back to mine again as I felt him carefully unbuttoning my pants. It didn't take long to get the baggy atrocities off, either. Even less time went by before his pants were off as well, and the only clothing between us was our underwear. My mother's ring still dangled off of the chain of Murphy's neck, bringing a smile to my face.

Every so often it became painfully clear how hard those three months had been. As if both of us were worried that if we stopped touching the other, the other would vanish into thin air. Sometimes Murphy's eyes bored into mine and I half expected them to be completely black, just like in my nightmares.

"Are you sure?" Murphy asked as he lifted his head away from mine, his blue eyes staring intently into mine.

"Are you sure?" I asked back. I was nervous, of course I was. This was a lot. We hadn't seen each other in 3 months, and now we were really seeing each other.

But I needed this, this night with him. Here together, we were slowly erasing the last three months. I needed the last three months to feel okay, and he was making them okay. I needed him, now, tomorrow. Forever. Whenever. Whatever.

"I don't think I'll ever be sure of anything in my life, besides you." Murphy said, a smirk growing on his face. I couldn't help but smile at him as he lowered himself closer to me. He lifted a hand to brush through my hair.

"Are you taking my words?" I asked him, raising a brow at him. I had said those exact words to him over three months ago, when he had asked me if I really wanted to follow Jaha to the city of light.

"Yeah." He said, "And if you don't mind, I'm going to take a lot more than that."

I let out a snort at his words, my hands unable to fly up to my mouth to cover my laughter. But Murphy didn't mind, he only laughed back before whispering, "You're so beautiful. And you're mine."

He said those words like they were all that mattered to him. And, in this moment, it was all that mattered. All that mattered was that I was his, and he was mine.


	7. Chapter 7

**Guys. Guys. This is fluffy AF and I love it. Sometimes everything has to be happy for at least a few chapters, right? Before we dive into the hell that is season three. If you want me to post faster, I'd recommend reviewing.**  
 **Also, for sneak peaks, follow tumblr handle Rileyparkerneedstoshutup **

* * *

_When our mouth parted, we were both gasping for air. I looked at him as he rested his forehead against mine, except something was different. Murphy's skin had turned grey, like ash. A scream started getting caught in my throat._

 _Murphy's eyes shot open, but instead of seeing the blue I had grown accustomed to seeing, his eyes were completely black._

 _"I'm dead, Riley." Murphy said, and I could feel his weight dissipating from atop of me as his skin flaked away into the wind, and although I tried to hold onto him tighter, suddenly he was gone._

And I was screaming.

"RILEY." It was Murphy.

He had flipped on the light switch, and now his face was only inches from mine, his fingers combing through my hair soothingly. He looked stunned, and quite frankly terrified. Once I let out a strangled breath, he calmed slightly. His body rested closer to mine as he let himself ease a bit.

I closed my eyes, and felt him place his forehead against mine. The chain with my mother's ring dangled from his neck, and feeling the cold metal against my skin relaxed me more than words could describe.

He was here, still. It had happened, he was still here.

"I'm still here." Murphy whispered before dropping his mouth down to mine and giving me a quick, possessive kiss. "I'm never leaving." His grip on my arm tightened, and his forehead seemed more forced onto mine. But it didn't matter to me, and in all honesty I needed the contact.

"What happened?" Tore yelled as he burst through my open door, half dressed and wielding two knives.

I quickly grabbed the covers, pulling them up as Murphy rolled off of me, sitting up and appearing ready to pounce off the bed at any moment. I don't know why I pulled the covers up, I was wearing Murphy's shirt. I wasn't necessary indecent. Murphy luckily wasn't indecent either, having put his boxers back on earlier.

"Ok, what the fuck." Murphy hissed as he glared at Tore.

"Tore, really?" I said, looking from Tore to Murphy. God, this was not going to end well.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Tore said as I looked back at him. He lowered the knives, and I could see how lost and confused he was. His eyes flickered to Murphy's bare chest, and he was slowly putting two and two together.

"She's got me." Murphy spat. "And you need to stop looking at her like that." Murphy's jealousy had kicked in, and as always I was finding it too endearing for the situation.

This was a lot. I wasn't used to all these emotions, all this physical contact. And trust me, there had been a lot of physical contact earlier.

"She didn't always have you to rely on." Tore mumbled under his breath, and before Murphy could strike I rolled myself on top of him, trying to keep him in the bed. All I wanted to do was go back to sleep, but no. I had to stop a war from starting. Why is weird shit always happening around me?

"JUNE!" I screamed as I looked down at Murphy. He was pissed. I knew he wasn't necessarily pissed at me, per say. More pissed at not being able to pummel Tore for his comment.

"Get off of me so I can bash in his head." Murphy hissed at me, his hands flying to my hips to try and push me off. I nearly giggled, and I don't know why. Perhaps not having felt anything for so long messed me up further? I don't know, but I was sure getting a kick out of this. It was fun, being the only thing Murphy seemed to listen to. He didn't even listen to common sense 95% of the time.

"No." I said, smiling at him as I tightened my hold on his shoulders. Why the hell was this kind of turning me on? I am so messed up. Even if I had been okay with him beating Tore up, I still wouldn't have let go of him. I still needed him here, with me.

Although I'm sure he'd have been okay with beating Tore up whilst caring me on his back, that wasn't the point.

"Rhy-" Murphy started, but I decided to take a leaf from his book and shut him up by kissing him. His efforts to push me off turned into him pulling me closer. One hand let go of my hip and reached to my lower back, pulling my body closer to his.

Even though I was convinced if we stopped kissing he'd go back to wanting to hurt Tore. But with my lips against his, he seemed to nearly forget about the awkward bystander in my room. Instead he was rightfully focused on me.

"Why is this still happening?" June yelled as she stormed into my room. I forced myself to withdraw my lips from Murphy's to look up at her. "No one respects sleep."

Her hair was disheveled, and her eyes were only half open. Without even giving Murphy or myself a second glance, she grabbed Tore and pulled him out of our room, pushing him down the hallway before slamming my door shut. June really gave no cares in the world. I couldn't help but feel slightly sorry. How many nights had I woken her up like this? Clearly enough for her to no longer come running unless I called out her name.

I let out a deep breath, about to let go of Murphy and lay back down when he grabbed my hips, pulling them back towards his. My eyes went to his, and I saw a smug smirk covering his face.

I raised a brow at him, and he quickly pushed me, reversing the situation so he was on top of me.

"You look exhausted." Murphy mumbled as his hand found its way to my hair again for a moment, brushing a few strands out of my face. "You should've just gone back to sleep, and had let me kill him." Murphy quickly pulled me closer and stole another quick kiss possessively. He was still angry, and I had a feeling this event only added fuel to the fire between Murphy and Tore.

I couldn't help but start laughing, and I looked up to see a smile growing on his face before he let out a bark of laughter and rolled off of me, our legs staying intertwined as he turned onto his side to look at me and I did the same.

"Part of me wanted you to fight him." I admitted through snorts. Murphy was the only person I could ever be really myself around. He knew my weird quirks, and somehow still loved me.

"That same part of you that wants to kiss me after I get mad at anything?" Murphy teased, his laughter turning into light chuckles. He slowly brought his hand up to rest it on my hip.

"Yeah." I said, nodding my head. "But no matter how weird Tore is, he's just working off autopilot."

Murphy frowned, his eyes traveling down to his hand that was on my hip. "It's not fair that he got to be here with you for three months." His hold tightened.

"He wasn't here with me." I said as I let out a deep breath. "He was here, and I physically was here, but mentally? I was with you." I brought my hand up to push his hair away from his face, my fingers lingering in his hair.

Murphy let out a deep sigh, his eyes going back to mine. We stared at each other for a long time, as if neither could truly believe the other was actually here.

"I'm sorry I woke you up." I said sheepishly as I withdrew my hand away from his hair.

Murphy shook his head, the grip of his hand on my hip tightening ever so slightly more. "Don't be. I slept for 3 months. In all honesty, I hadn't really fallen asleep yet."

"Why not?" I asked as I brought my hand back up to his face, my thumb tracing his cheek bone.

"I didn't want to wake up and be back in the bunker." He said as he swallowed, looking away for a moment.

"Then come here." I said as I dropped my hand from his cheek, our legs untangling and as I turned the other way around his hand fell off my hip. He quickly moved over, his chest pressing against my back as his arms snaked around me, pulling me closer into him. "Tell me everything that is on your mind."

Murphy huffed as his head drew closer to mine, and then he pulled himself up slightly to lean over and place a kiss on my temple. "I'm supposed to be comforting you, remember?" He said dryly as I turned my head to look at him.

"Who's arms are around whom?" I asked as I looked into his eyes, and he smiled before rolling his eyes.

"You are full of shit." Murphy said as he let out a chuckle and dropped his head down on the pillow, his face snuggling into my hair. I couldn't help but laugh at that and wrap my arms around his, our fingers intertwining.

And then Murphy talked, about anything that came to his mind. He hadn't expected me to respond, thankfully because I was too tired to even move. But with his arms around me, and his soothing words in my ears, I was able to drift off into sleep again. Which was a first time in a long time.

* * *

Waking up in Murphy's arms the next day, with his chest flush again my back, his head nestled in my hair, felt like a dream. He had talked for a long time, with our legs tangled together, his lips close to my ear. Somehow, even after it all, we couldn't get enough of each other.

I certainly couldn't get enough of him, even after I woke up at one point to him nearly squeezing the life out of me he had been holding me so tightly.

The whole night had felt like a dream, actually. Instead of talking all night, finding out what the other had been through for the past three months, we had pretty much just given each other the cliff notes and then went into doing something we had never even remotely gotten close to doing before.

Murphy and I had sex for the first time, and everything about it was scary, surprising, and amazing.

I had been madly in love with Murphy for so long, and for some reason being away from him for three months made me realize how badly I had wanted, and needed him.

If I could've, I would've stayed in that bed with him for the rest of my life. Wearing his shirt like a dress, while he was shirtless, with only boxers and the necklace with my mom's ring on. His strong bare arms around me, our legs still tangled together.

But as all dreams end, so did our peaceful morning. With a rude awakening from June.

"Good morning sunshines!" June had practically yelled as she burst through the door, waking Murphy up so quickly he nearly gave me the Heimlich maneuver in surprise as his arms tensed, pulling me even closer into him. He had one hell of a strong hold.

"Learn to fucking knock." Murphy groaned as he took his arms away from me, lifting himself to sit up and rub his eyes. I sat up as well, raising my arms to stretch. Even though I had woken up a few times, I hadn't slept better than that since the last time his arms were around me, three months earlier.

"Wait." June said, and I watched as she looked at the tray on the floor. Her eyes then snapped to Murphy's bare chest, and then to me. "That's not your shirt." How she hadn't seen all this the night before was a mystery to me.

"No, but it looks good on her." Murphy groaned, giving me a shit eating smirk.

Of course he thought it looked good on me. I might as well have been wearing a sign that said I belonged to him.

"Oh my god." June said, "You two hadn't seen each other in three months, and the first thing on Murphy's mind the first moment you two were alone was to finally screw you?"

My mouth went open, looking at her in awe. Yes, she was right. But I hadn't wanted her to know that was what had happened. From beside me Murphy let out a chuckle before letting himself lay back down on the bed.

"Oh, my god." June repeated, as if Murphy's and my reactions told her everything she needed to know. She paused for a moment, trying to compose herself. "Well, get yourselves decent. We will be there soon." She said, quickly shutting the door as she left.

From outside the door I could hear Breton ask groggily, " _They finally had sex, didn't they?_ "

Now I was livid. I felt a blush come all over my face as I yelled, "I can speak grounder now, and can hear you asshole!"

" _They did what?_ " Tore's voice suddenly joined the shouting party, making me groan and put my face in my hands.

"Stop talking about me, you dickheads!" I yelled again, before letting out a deep sigh.

Everyone on the goddamn boat knew about my love life within seconds, thanks to loud-ass June. At least daddy Jaha hadn't jumped in, because that would have been the worst.

"Are you blushing?" Murphy asked, sitting back up on the bed and reaching over and pulling my hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear.

"Of course I'm blushing." I mumbled, my head still in my heads. "Right now they all know the first thing we did after not seeing each other for three months was have sex for the first time."

There was a long pause as he slowly took his hand away from my face before he finally asked, "Do you regret it?"

I brought my hands away from my eyes, letting out a deep exhale as I looked at him. "I love you Murphy." I finally said. "I could never regret that."

He gave me a cheeky grin before he wrapped his arms around me, bringing my back to his chest as he placed a kiss on my neck. His lips fell on a spot on my neck that felt tender, but everything after some points last night had been such a blur l that I had no clue why.

"Good." He whispered into my ear as I closed my eyes. "Because we are definitely going to be doing that a lot more." He said as I felt his lips curl into a smirk against my neck.

I couldn't help but let out a laugh. We had been awake for all of five minutes, and his mind was already devising when we would have sex again.

"Oh, whatever jerk-face." I teased as I pulled myself out of his arms, getting out of the bed and making sure I didn't step on the food tray from last night.

Murphy let out another groan as he laid back down, watching me as I looked around for my clothes. I quickly found my pants on the floor and began shrugging them on, looking back to notice Murphy still watching me with a smirk on his face. I raised my brow at him.

"Are you just going to watch me get dressed?" I asked as I looked around again for my shirt and bandeau.

Bandeaus were apparently what the grounders wore instead of bras, or at least grounders the size of me who also needed to run around.

"Yeah." Murphy teased, the smirk staying on his face. "Although I'd much rather watch you taking clothes off than putting them on."

I could help but roll my eyes, grabbing his pants from the floor beside me and throwing them at his head. "Get your head out of the gutter and get dressed."

Murphy let out a laugh, but also nodded his head and started to shrug his pants on, waiting a moment for me to turn around and take off his shirt before throwing it at him and putting on the bandeau.

"Rhy." Murphy said as he finally got out of the bed. I could feel him standing right behind me, and I turned my head to see him smirking at my hair. "Your hair is a mess."

"Can you fix it?" I asked as I let out a deep sigh. It had been so long since I cut my hair, and man, was my hair thick.

"I like it like this." Murphy teased.

I shot him a glare before my hands went to my head. He let out a sigh before laughing.

"Calm your shit down, I've got it." Murphy said, and I watched out of the corner of my eye as he stepped even closer to me. His chest was now nearly against my back, and slowly he brought his hands to my hair and started brushing it out.

Murphy let out a deep sigh as his hands let go of my hair, and I was about to move away to get my shirt when his hands flew around me, wrapping around my waist as they pulled me into his chest. His hands stayed around me, and I let them. We both needed this, it was almost as if we were both trying to fight away memories.

He had been in a bunker, alone. I had been on this boat, feeling alone.

Murphy placed a quick kiss near my ear, and then let me go. I turned around to look at him, and watched him as he bent over the bed slightly to grab his jacket. I let out a sigh before finally grabbing my shirt and putting it on.

I could still feel some residual sadness, as though my mind still hadn't caught onto the idea that I should be happy.

Once we were both fully dressed I opened the door, and we walked down the small hallway and up the stairs to the top of the boat where June, Breton, and Tore were sat around the table we had at the back of the boat.

"Good morning kids." June teased as she brought a mug of this gross grounder tea Breton, Tore, and she drank every morning. "Have a pleasant rest?"

Oh dear god. They were never going to let it go. I looked around the table to see Breton bring his mug to his mouth as well to hide his own smile.

"Oh, bite me." I hissed at her, glaring as I watched Tore glance at me from the corner of his eyes before looking back down at his mug bitterly.

"It looks like someone already has." Breton muttered quietly, and June nearly spat out her tea in surprise.

Tore gave Murphy and I both another glance, his frown deepening. Breton brought his mug back up to his mouth, and June was looking at my neck like she was seconds away from pointing and laughing.

Instead I ignored Tore as I turned my head to look at Murphy, who was grinning at Tore, as if he had just stolen someone else's candy and then ate it. And in this scenario, I think I was the stolen candy. How did I become the stolen candy?

"What did you do to my neck?" I whispered as quiet as I could, putting my hand on Murphy's shoulder so he would look at me.

As his eyes flashed back to me, a smirk appearing on his face. He quickly closed the gap between us, bringing his lips close to mine as he said, "What I always do with what is mine," He let out a quick chuckle, "I wrote my initials on it."

Oh god. I had no clue what that had really meant. Obviously he hadn't taken a pen to my neck last night, but clearly he had done something. Probably gave me some horrible bruise. Probably kissed me until I had a horrible bruise. Honestly, that sounded about right.

"You know, most people don't claim other people." Tore mumbled, and I felt Murphy go tense. "They you know, let them have their free will."

Murphy was about to take a step back away when my arms shot up, wrapping around his neck and keeping him close to me. I didn't care what most people did. I didn't want most people. I wanted Murphy, even if that meant he might end up carving his initials into my flesh while I slept. Which as the minutes went by, seemed like more and more of a possibility.

I felt Murphy smile into my hair as his arms wrapped around me, bringing me closer to him.

"I don't think they care about most people." Breton chuckled, and I heard Tore exhale deeply at his words.

"I worked hard on that braid." June groaned, having finally noticed how my hair was done. I couldn't help but let out a laugh.

Murphy and I slowly let go of each other, and I turned around to look at June. "June, I hate having my hair up."

June let out a laugh, nodding her head at me before motioning to the empty seats across from Tore, and saying, "I know. But I had hope, you know?"

I rolled my eyes, quickly scooting past the first chair and taking the one on the corner next to Breton. Murphy followed, sitting down right next to me and across from Tore. Probably not the best idea.

"Your hair looks good up, I thought." Tore said, glaring at Murphy.

"No body cares what you think." Murphy hissed, slamming his hands on the table. Everyone's mugs shook, and I couldn't help but let out a groan. This was going to be a long ass day, and it had just started.

This was the most I had lived in months, and boy, living is exhausting.

"I'm so tired." I mumbled as I put my elbows on the table, resting my head in my hands. Murphy gently placed his hand on my shoulder, and although it was nice, I had a feeling he was doing it while smirking at Tore. "And hungry. I'm so hungry."

"Breton!" June hissed excitedly, and I heard a whack come from her direction, most likely her punching him excitedly. "It's finally happening. She wants to eat."

I couldn't help but let out a laugh. Man, did I miss food. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to eat much, but I could sure try.

"Should I go get food?" Breton asked.

" _Yes please._ " I responded, nodding my head but not lifting it up. From beside me I heard Murphy let out a deep huff, most likely taken aback by me speaking grounder.

Speaking grounder was hard. Understanding it was easy, but it still felt weird on my tongue.

I finally lifted my head up to see Breton scooting around Tore's chair, and then making his way down to the hull of the ship. June was giving weary glances from Tore to Murphy, making sure neither jumped out of their chair and attacked the other.

"So, Murphy." June began, and I looked over at Murphy to see his blue eyes finally leave Tore and go to June. "Where have you been? I wish I could say we've been worried. But we thought you were dead."

Murphy tensed, letting out a deep breath as his hand fell off my shoulder. I quickly caught it, our fingers intertwining as I held his hand under the table resting them on my leg. I needed his touch, and by how he squeezed my hand, he needed it too. His eyes flickered to the table for a moment before he closed them and let out another deep breath.

Finally he opened his eyes and looked back at June. "I was locked in a lighthouse bunker."

"What?" June asked, looking from Murphy to me, and then back to him again. She was beyond clueless and was now sporting a fake empty smile to cover her confusion.

"Jaha lied." I said, looking from Murphy's vacant lost expression back to June. "He must've known."

"Whoah, hold up." Tore butted in. "Let's not get hasty." Tore raised his hands as if physically putting them up would somehow equate to pausing the conversation for him to speak.

"Allie, the one who welcomes you into the city of light," Murphy began, and I watched as his expression turned violent as he shot a glare at Tore, "She's a computer program. She set off the nuclear bombs that ended the earth."

I let out a deep breath. I had heard him say that last night, but part of me had hoped it wasn't true. Because if it was true, we were in deep shit. We had been helping this Allie, whom I had never met, get technology.

"The city of light is magical, and you wouldn't understand it." Tore hissed at him, bringing his hands down to his mug, and then his grip on his mug tightening. "They would never allow you in there."

"Well, buddy," Murphy began, and I watched as his free hand went into the pocket of his coat. He pulled out a chip, just like the one Jaha had given me. "They tried to get me to join, but I didn't want to."

The color drained from Tore's face as he looked at the chip in Murphy's hand. Murphy had been taken out of the bunker, and in less than a day, had been given what Tore had been trying to achieve for months.

Everyone sat quietly, looking at each other. I looked back on the moment Jaha had given me the chip. He had given it to me a few weeks after Murphy was declared "Gone". I had been in so much pain, having nightmares every time I closed my eyes. I was barely eating back then, and honestly I don't know what I had spent my days doing. They had dragged on so painfully slow, but nothing would distract me from the pain of losing Murphy.

"Pain." I whispered as I looked down at the table. "He gives it to those in pain."

Murphy had been in pain, having spent three months in a bunker alone. From what he had told me, he had started losing his mind in a big way, kind of like how I had. He had been talking back to this big screen, poured alcohol all over himself, screamed and used a blanket as a cape. I never found out why he did the last one, but it didn't sound nearly as delusional as the rest.

"That can't possibly be right." Tore muttered, and as I looked up I noticed him staring incredulously from me to Murphy. "I'm in pain too." No one said anything, and that seemed to only offend Tore more. "I feel pain, too."

Breton came up the stairs right in time to hear Tore yell that he felt pain, and I looked over at him to see the most confused and apprehensive glance I had ever seen him give. I looked down at the tray of food he held and couldn't help but let out a gasp of excitement.

Hot damn, what had I missed? At the dropship we hadn't really had food, not really at camp Jaha either. Definitely not in the dead zone, but on this boat? It was like food galore, and I had ignored all of it to sit around and mope.

My hair fell into my face as I whipped my head from June, and then back to Breton. He had brought us a tray of smoked meats, and toast with fruit preserves on it. My excitement was boiling in me, and as I looked at Murphy out of the corner of my eye, I could tell even he was happy to see Breton put down the tray of food on the table.

Murphy and I let go of each other's hands, and started eating. It felt weird, Tore sitting on the other side of the table. It was almost as if he had become a stranger to all of us.

It was clear Tore was angry. He stared down at his Mug for a while, as if he was contemplating everything that had been said.

Finally, Tore let out a deep breath, his eyes rising to Murphy. They stared at each other for a moment, and for the first time they didn't appear to be glaring at each other. Not yet, at least. Tore's eyes flickered down to Murphy's chest, and I followed his gaze.

For the first time I think ever, Murphy wore the chain over his shirt as opposed to under. Just seeing it made me want to hold him, which may have been why he had left it in plain sight.

"So," Tore started, and June groaned. "Why do you wear a chain with a ring on it?"

June's frown was priceless. She gave Tore the most annoyed and confused look that she could muster. I didn't blame her, either. The conversation had went from Tore telling everyone that he felt pain, to him asking about something he saw last night and now.

"It's Riley's mother's ring. It's too small to wear on my hand." Murphy remarked between chews of bread, his expression towards Tore becoming calmer, but still uneasy. I could tell the words had meaning behind them, as if explaining that it was my mother's ring showed what he meant to me.

Tore's eyes flickered to my hand, where I wore Murphy's father's ring on my thumb. It was still slightly too big for my thumb, but it was the best I had ever been able to do. I never felt right without it on, and couldn't bring myself to take it off.

"Do rings have a significance in skaikru culture?" Tore asked, letting out a deep breath before bringing his mug to his lips.

"It's part of our marriage ritual." June cut in. "Although, I hope that's not what either of them," June pointed from me to Murphy, "Had intended when they gave each other those when they were kids."

"It doesn't matter." I stated dryly, and everyone's eyes went to me. I looked over to see even Murphy had his intense gaze on me, a brow raised. "What? It doesn't. No trikru understands what a ring means, and there aren't enough skaikru for it to hold significance. We could all get married tomorrow and give each other rings, and no one would understand it."

When my dad had given my mother the ring around Murphy's neck, it had meant so much to both of them. They had loved each other so fiercely, and that ring had signified everything my dad had put himself through to get it. My dad may have been an asshole to me, but he had been hurting. He had lost the love of his life, and didn't know how to cope with it.

"Riley," June said, taking a deep breath, "How you show your love and devotion isn't about other people knowing, it's about you and that person knowing."

"That's your opinion." I huffed, tossing the rest of my slice of bread down and leaning back in my seat. "But if I get married, I want everyone to know."

Murphy let out a chuckle from beside me, filling me with joy. As I looked at him, I saw his gaze flicker to the horrid bruise or whatever that was on my neck, and I knew he felt the same way. He had a thing with territory, and I couldn't see him getting married and not having the world know that they belonged to him.

"Is real Riley normally this," Tore began as he motioned to me. I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"Feisty?" Murphy supplemented, smirking at me as he said it.

"I was going to say lively." Tore muttered.

"Why are we awake right now?" I asked as I sat up in my seat, raising a brow at June. From beside me I heard Murphy scoff in agreement, before his hand made its way to my thigh, and rested upon it. Butterflies surged through me at his touch.

"Jaha is already on land. He's doing his weird ass meditation shit, and wants you, Murphy, and Tore, to meet Gideon and him at the drop off." June said, shrugging.

I groaned, leaning right back in my seat as I glared at the empty space in front of me. Tore and Murphy had already been looking at each other like they'd murder the other, It couldn't possibly be a good idea for them both to be walking anywhere with the other. To make matters even grosser, Gideon was there here too. Ugh, I couldn't stand Gideon. Although, I hadn't really stood anyone for the past three months.

"Moody." Tore mumbled, and my eyes shot to him. "You're being moody."

I frowned, and I could feel Murphy's eyes on me. Tore was rude. Sure, I was being more lively, and debatably moody, but that was preferred over me sitting on a boat acting like an anorexic zombie, right?

"I don't care if they don't want me to kill you." Murphy spat, his grip on my thigh tightening as his eyes went to Tore. "I will end you."

I couldn't help but smile as Murphy glared at Tore. Why was that so endearing to me? He just said he wanted to murder someone because they were offending me, and for some reason I found that sweet. He knew Tore's words hurt me, because Tore had never really met the real me before. Sometimes, it would come out in random spurts, but never this much. It was like three months of bundled emotions were coming up, and I couldn't stop it.


End file.
